Relationship Counseling in Washington DC
Understand your patterns. Heal old wounds. Build the connections you deserve.
Relationships are where we experience our deepest joys and our most painful struggles. They mirror back to us parts of ourselves we might not otherwise see—our longings, our fears, and the patterns we developed long before we understood what we were doing.
Whether you're caught in cycles that keep repeating across different partners, recovering from a relationship that left you questioning yourself, or simply wanting to show up more fully for the people you love, therapy offers a space to understand yourself at a deeper level.
At District Counseling, we don't believe in quick fixes or communication scripts. We believe lasting change comes from genuine insight—understanding not just what you do in relationships, but why. That understanding becomes the foundation for real transformation.
When Relationships Feel Harder Than They Should
Many people come to therapy when they notice patterns they can't seem to break on their own. You might recognize yourself in some of these experiences:
The Same Story, Different Person
You keep finding yourself in relationships that feel eerily similar—the same dynamics, the same disappointments, the same painful endings. Different faces, same script. You're starting to wonder if the common denominator is you.
Walls That Won't Come Down
You want closeness, but when someone actually gets close, something in you pulls back. You might intellectually know this person is trustworthy, but your nervous system hasn't gotten the memo. Vulnerability feels dangerous, even when you wish it didn't.
The Push-Pull Dance
You crave connection intensely, then feel suffocated when you have it. Or you pursue people who seem unavailable, losing interest when someone is actually present and willing. The wanting and the having never seem to align.
Walking on Eggshells
You've become an expert at reading other people's moods and adjusting yourself accordingly. Your needs take a backseat—or never make it into the car at all. You're not even sure what you want anymore, just what will keep the peace.
The Aftermath
A relationship ended—maybe recently, maybe years ago—and you're still carrying it. Not just the grief of loss, but questions about yourself. What did you miss? What does it say about you? How do you trust your judgment again?
Questioning Everything
You're not sure what you actually want in a partner versus what you think you should want. Maybe the relationship models you grew up with don't fit who you are. Maybe you're exploring relationship structures that don't have a roadmap.
How We Work With Relationships
Our approach is grounded in psychodynamic and relational theories—specifically Object Relations Theory and Self Psychology. In plain terms, this means we believe your early relationships created templates for how you expect relationships to work, and those templates continue operating outside your awareness.
Understanding Your Attachment Style
The way your caregivers responded to your needs as a child shaped your expectations about whether people will be there for you, whether your needs are too much, whether closeness is safe or dangerous. These aren't conscious beliefs—they're automatic responses wired into your nervous system.
In therapy, we help you recognize these patterns as they show up: in your relationships, in your reactions, and even in the therapy relationship itself. Awareness is the first step. From there, you can start making choices rather than running on autopilot.
Beyond Communication Techniques
You can learn every communication technique in the book and still find yourself in the same painful dynamics. That's because the issue usually isn't a skills deficit—it's that something deeper gets activated that overrides what you "know" you should do.
We work at that deeper level. What gets triggered when your partner is late? What story do you tell yourself when someone doesn't text back? What does conflict mean to you at a gut level? Understanding these reactions—where they come from and what they're protecting—is what creates real change.
The Therapy Relationship as Laboratory
One of the most powerful aspects of therapy is that your patterns will eventually show up in the room with your therapist. Maybe you'll find yourself holding back to avoid being "too much." Maybe you'll worry about disappointing your therapist. Maybe you'll test whether they'll stick around.
These moments aren't problems—they're opportunities. Working through these dynamics in real-time, with someone who can help you see what's happening without judgment, is how deep change occurs.
Why Individual Therapy for Relationship Issues?
We offer individual therapy, not couples counseling. This is intentional.
While couples work has its place, individual therapy often creates more lasting change. When you understand your own patterns—really understand them, not just intellectually but in your bones—you show up differently in every relationship. You stop waiting for the other person to change. You develop the capacity to choose partners who can actually meet you. You learn to tolerate the vulnerability that real intimacy requires.
The relationship you have with yourself sets the template for every other relationship in your life. That's where we focus.
Our Specializations
While we work with anyone struggling in relationships, our therapists have particular expertise in:
Men's Relationship Issues
Men are often taught to suppress emotional needs and handle things alone. We provide a space where vulnerability isn't weakness—where you can explore what you actually want from relationships without performing masculinity. Many men find that the patterns keeping them stuck were learned so early they feel like personality rather than programming.
LGBTQ+ Relationships
Queer relationships come with their own complexities—navigating dating without heteronormative scripts, dealing with minority stress that affects how you show up with partners, possibly having fewer models of what healthy same-sex relationships look like. Our affirming therapists understand these dynamics from the inside.
Recovery from Toxic Relationships
Relationships with narcissistic, emotionally abusive, or manipulative partners leave lasting marks. You might struggle to trust your own perceptions, feel shame about what you "let" happen, or find yourself drawn to similar dynamics. Healing requires both processing the trauma and understanding what made you vulnerable to it.
Family-of-Origin Work
Your first relationships were with your family. The ways you learned to get love, avoid conflict, and navigate closeness in that original context echo through your adult relationships. We help you see these connections—not to blame your parents, but to free yourself from patterns that no longer serve you.
What to Expect in Therapy
Relationship-focused therapy isn't about analyzing your partner or getting advice about what to do. It's about understanding yourself more deeply so you can make different choices.
In early sessions, we'll explore your relationship history—not just romantic relationships, but your earliest experiences of connection and attachment. We'll listen for patterns, themes, and the expectations you formed about what relationships are supposed to be.
As therapy progresses, we'll pay attention to how these patterns show up in your current life and in our relationship. You'll start noticing your automatic reactions and understanding what drives them. This awareness creates space for choice.
Over time, you'll develop what we call "earned security"—the capacity for healthy attachment that wasn't wired in during childhood but can be developed through corrective experiences. You'll find yourself responding differently, choosing differently, and experiencing relationships differently.
This isn't quick work. Real change takes time. But it's the kind of change that sticks.
Practical Information
Location
Our office is located at 2001 L Street NW, Suite 500, in the Dupont Circle neighborhood of Washington, DC. We're easily accessible by Metro (Dupont Circle or Farragut North stations).
Telehealth
We offer secure video therapy throughout DC, Maryland, Virginia, New Jersey, and New York. Telehealth sessions are identical in structure and effectiveness to in-person work.
Session Format
We typically meet weekly for 50-minute sessions. Consistency matters in relationship-focused therapy—it's in the ongoing work that patterns emerge and change happens.
Getting Started
The first step is a consultation call where we'll discuss what brings you to therapy and answer any questions. This helps us determine if we're a good fit for your needs.
Begin Your Work
Understanding yourself in relationships is some of the most important work you can do. It affects every area of your life—your partnerships, your friendships, your family relationships, even your relationship with yourself.
If you're ready to stop repeating patterns and start building the connections you want, we're here.
District Counseling and Psychotherapy
2001 L Street NW, Suite 500
Washington, DC 20036