Biphobia and Erasure: Bisexual Men's Mental Health Crisis

Meta Title: Bisexual Men Mental Health: The Hidden Crisis and Risks

Meta Description: Bi men need encouragement and acceptance by both gay and straight communities to safely explore their sexualities.

Featured Image Alt: Three friends at a football stadium. One friend is encouraging his buddy to wave to another guy he is interested in across the stadium by showing him the waving jester. The other friend is giving a supportive smile enjoying the vulnerability of the one signaling high interest.

The Hidden Crisis in Bisexual Men Mental Health

Bisexual people are about 3 times more likely to have thoughts of suicide. Gay men and lesbians are about 2 times more likely to feel the same way compared to straight people. These bisexual suicide rates underscore an urgent, often overlooked crisis and the need for affirming resources, including bisexual support groups.

Bisexual Men Mental Health: The Hidden Crisis and Risks

The Shocking Statistics No One Is Talking About

The numbers surrounding bisexual mental health are startling — yet rarely discussed. Bisexual individuals face disproportionately higher rates of mental health challenges compared to both straight and gay or lesbian peers.

Suicide & Suicidal Ideation:

• Bisexual people are nearly 3 times more likely to have suicidal thoughts than heterosexual people
• Gay men and lesbians are about 2 times more likely — bisexual individuals face an even greater risk
• Bisexual youth show higher rates of self-harm and suicidal behavior than both gay/lesbian and straight peers

Mental Health Conditions:

• When compared to heterosexual adults, bisexual adults reported double the rates of depression and higher rates of binge drinking
• In a 2020 study of Australian bisexual people, 72% reported high or very high psychological distress
• Bisexual individuals showed higher levels of depressive and anxiety symptoms than both gay/lesbian and heterosexual people
• Bisexual individuals showed higher levels of depressive and anxiety symptoms than lesbians and gay men

Access to Support:

• Only 44% of bisexual youth said they have an adult to talk to — compared to 54% of gay and lesbian youth and 79% of non-LGBTQ youth
• Only 28% of bisexual people report being out to those closest to them
• Approximately a third of bisexual people reported not disclosing their sexual orientation to their healthcare providers

These statistics uncover a concerning issue that requires focus: the suicide rates for bisexual men are nearly ten times higher than those for gay men. Despite this, their challenges go unnoticed.

Why Are Bisexual Men at Such High Risk?

The answer is in a situation called double discrimination. Bisexual men face negative attitudes and exclusion from both heterosexual AND gay/lesbian communities — creating a unique form of stress that compounds over time.

1. Biphobia: Discrimination from All Sides

Biphobia refers to negative attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors directed at bisexual people. Unlike homophobia, which comes primarily from straight communities, biphobia hits from multiple directions simultaneously.

From straight communities, bisexual men often hear:

• "You're just confused"
• "It's just a phase"
• "You'll eventually pick a side"
• "You're really just gay"

From gay and lesbian communities, bisexual men often hear:

• "You're not really LGBTQ+"
• "You're just saying you're bi to seem more acceptable"
• "Bisexual men are untrustworthy partners"
• "You have straight privilege"

Research published in the Journal of Bisexuality found that bisexual individuals experienced more negative attitudes from both heterosexual and LG communities compared to monosexual groups. This study provides important quantitative support for theories related to biphobia and the discrimination bisexual individuals face, with findings providing strong evidence for understanding how stereotypes and stigma may lead to dramatic disparities in depression, anxiety, stress, and other health outcomes among bisexual individuals.

2. Bisexual Erasure: The Invisibility Crisis

Bisexual erasure is often a manifestation of biphobia, although it does not necessarily involve overt antagonism.

Bisexual individuals often face erasure, leading to negative social experiences. They struggle with acceptance both in society and within the LGBTQ community.

What Bisexual Erasure Looks Like:

In Media and Culture: Bisexuality has even been erased from the legal map. In 2020, the United States Supreme Court decided a landmark LGBTQ rights case, Bostock v Clayton County. The decision confirmed that Title VII's rules against sex discrimination apply to gay and transgender workers. However, it did not mention bisexuality or bisexual people.

• Bisexual characters portrayed as promiscuous or untrustworthy
• Characters' bisexuality erased when they enter monogamous relationships
• LGBTQ+ rights cases that mention "gay and lesbian" but omit bisexual people
• Research studies that lump bisexual people into "gay/lesbian" categories

In Personal Relationships:

• Partners assuming your bisexuality ends when you're in a relationship with them
• Friends or family saying "so you're gay now?" when you date someone of the same gender
• Being told your bisexuality is "just a phase" you'll grow out of
• Medical providers assuming your sexual orientation based on your current partner

3. Monosexism: The Belief That People Can Only Be Attracted to One Gender

Monosexism is the cultural belief that people are either straight or gay — with nothing in between. This invisible cultural assumption creates an environment where bisexuality is seen as impossible, illegitimate, or requiring explanation.

Monosexism shows up in everyday language ("Are you gay or straight?"), in research that uses binary categories, in relationship assumptions, and in political movements that focus exclusively on gay and lesbian rights while overlooking bisexual-specific issues.

4. Sexual Identity Stress at Multiple Levels

Bisexual men experience what researchers call minority stress at multiple levels simultaneously:

• Individual level: Internalized biphobia and shame about their own identity
• Interpersonal level: Discrimination and rejection from both straight and LGBTQ+ communities
• Structural level: Lack of bisexual-specific resources, representation, and legal recognition
• Intersectional level: Additional stressors for bisexual men of color, bisexual men with disabilities, or bisexual men in religious communities

5. Unique Challenges for Bisexual Men Specifically

While all bisexual people face challenges, bisexual men face some unique pressures:

• Masculinity norms: Traditional ideas about masculinity make it harder for men to express vulnerability or seek help
• Sexual stereotypes: Bisexual men face specific stereotypes about being "secretly gay" or being vectors for HIV/STIs to straight women
• Relationship challenges: Bisexual men report higher rates of relationship dissolution and lower relationship satisfaction when their partners don't accept their bisexuality
• Coming out complexity: Bisexual men must navigate coming out in multiple contexts, with different reactions and consequences in each

6. The Mental Health Consequences

These compounding stressors create real, measurable mental health consequences:

• Higher rates of depression and anxiety than both straight and gay/lesbian individuals
• Greater risk of substance use disorders, particularly alcohol use
• Higher rates of suicidal ideation and self-harm
• Lower self-esteem and more negative body image
• More difficulty maintaining stable, satisfying relationships
• Higher rates of PTSD, often related to discrimination experiences

Why Bisexual Men Stay Silent

Despite facing disproportionate mental health challenges, bisexual men are less likely than gay men to seek therapy or mental health support. Here's why:

Fear of Not Being Believed

Many bisexual men have had their identity questioned or denied so many times that they anticipate therapists will do the same. This fear of being told "you're really just gay" or "bisexuality isn't real" keeps many bisexual men out of therapy altogether.

Lack of Bisexual-Affirming Resources

Most LGBTQ+-affirming therapy spaces are designed with gay and lesbian clients in mind. Finding a therapist who understands the specific experiences of bisexual men — particularly the double discrimination and erasure they face — can feel impossible.

Pressure to "Choose a Side"

When bisexual men are in relationships, there's often pressure from both partners and therapists to "identify" as either straight or gay based on their current partner. This invalidation of their actual identity makes it hard to get authentic support.

Conditional Acceptance

Many bisexual men have learned that acceptance is conditional — they're accepted by straight friends when they act straight, and by gay friends when they're in same-sex relationships. This conditional acceptance teaches them that their full, authentic identity isn't safe to reveal.

The Path Forward: How Bisexual Men Can Find Support and Healing

Recovery and healing are absolutely possible for bisexual men. Here are evidence-based steps that can make a real difference:

1. Find Bisexual-Affirming Therapy

Not all LGBTQ+-affirming therapists are bisexual-affirming. When searching for a therapist, look specifically for someone who:

• Has explicit experience working with bisexual clients
• Uses bisexual-affirming language in their profile or intake forms
• Doesn't assume you need to "choose a side" or that your bisexuality is a phase
• Understands the specific stressors bisexual men face (biphobia from multiple directions, erasure, etc.)

2. Connect with Bisexual-Specific Communities

Having community with other bisexual people — particularly other bisexual men — can be profoundly healing. Look for:

• Online bisexual support groups and forums
• Local bisexual meetups or social groups
• Bisexual organizations like the Bisexual Resource Center or BiNet USA
• LGBTQ+ centers that have bisexual-specific programming

3. Challenge Internalized Binegativity

Many bisexual men have absorbed negative messages about their own identity. Therapy can help you:

• Identify and challenge internalized biphobia
• Develop a positive bisexual identity
• Separate your own self-worth from others' opinions about bisexuality
• Build pride in your authentic identity

4. Develop Skills for Managing Biphobia

While we work toward a world with less biphobia, it's also important to develop skills for managing the biphobia that exists now:

• Assertiveness skills for responding to biphobic comments
• Boundaries around who you come out to and when
• Self-advocacy skills in healthcare settings
• Coping strategies for discrimination experiences

5. Address Co-Occurring Issues

Many bisexual men use substances to cope with minority stress. If this applies to you, it's important to address both the substance use and the underlying minority stress simultaneously. Look for treatment providers who understand the connections between LGBTQ+ identity, minority stress, and substance use.

6. Come Out (When Safe and Ready)

While coming out should always be done on your own timeline and only when safe, research consistently shows that bisexual people who are out experience better mental health outcomes. Consider:

• Starting with one trusted person
• Connecting with bisexual community before coming out to family or friends
• Having a safety plan if coming out doesn't go well
• Working with a therapist to prepare for coming out conversations

7. Seek Group Therapy or Support Groups

Group therapy with other bisexual men can be particularly powerful — it reduces isolation, provides models of positive bisexual identity, and creates a space where your experiences are understood without explanation.

For Therapists: How to Better Serve Bisexual Men

If you're a mental health professional, here's how you can create a more bisexual-affirming practice:

Educate Yourself

• Read research specifically on bisexual mental health (not just LGBTQ+ mental health broadly)
• Learn about biphobia, bisexual erasure, and monosexism
• Understand the unique stressors bisexual men face compared to gay men
• Seek supervision or consultation if you haven't worked with bisexual clients before

Create Explicitly Bisexual-Affirming Spaces

• Include bisexuality explicitly in your practice materials, not just "LGBTQ+"
• Use intake forms that allow for bisexual identification
• Display bisexual pride symbols or colors in your office
• List yourself as bisexual-affirming in LGBTQ+ therapist directories

Validate Without Question

• Accept bisexual clients' self-identification without questioning or doubting
• Don't assume their bisexuality is a phase or that they'll eventually "come out" as gay
• Validate that bisexuality is a real, stable sexual orientation
• Don't try to help clients "figure out" if they're really gay or really straight

Address Bisexual-Specific Issues

• Explore the impact of biphobia from multiple communities
• Address bisexual erasure as a real clinical concern
• Work with clients on developing a positive bisexual identity
• Consider the intersections of bisexuality with other identities (race, religion, etc.)

Advocate

• Advocate for bisexual-inclusive policies in your workplace and professional organizations
• Support bisexual-specific research and resources
• Educate other mental health professionals about bisexual-specific issues

For Allies: Supporting Bisexual Men

If you have a bisexual man in your life — whether as a friend, family member, partner, or colleague — here's how you can be a genuine ally:

Believe and Validate

The single most important thing you can do is believe bisexual men when they tell you about their identity and experiences. Don't question whether their bisexuality is real, suggest it's a phase, or imply they need to "choose a side."

Educate Yourself

Learn about biphobia, bisexual erasure, and the specific challenges bisexual men face. Don't put the burden of education entirely on the bisexual men in your life.

Use Correct Language

• Refer to bisexual people as bisexual (not "confused," "greedy," or "going through a phase")
• Don't assume their orientation changes based on their current partner
• Ask about preferred terms — some people prefer "bi," "pansexual," or other terms

Create Inclusive Spaces

• Challenge biphobic comments when you hear them — even from LGBTQ+ people
• Ensure your social events and spaces are genuinely bisexual-inclusive
• Include bisexuality explicitly when talking about LGBTQ+ issues

Speak Up

When you hear biphobic comments — even from well-meaning LGBTQ+ allies or community members — gently correct them. Bisexual visibility requires allies to speak up too.

A Message of Hope: Your Identity Is Valid

If you're a bisexual man reading this, we want you to know: your identity is real, valid, and worth celebrating. The struggles you face aren't signs of personal weakness — they're the predictable result of living in a world that hasn't fully accepted bisexuality yet.

You deserve support that actually understands your experience. You deserve a therapist who doesn't question your identity, friends who don't tell you to choose, and community where your authentic self is welcome.

Bisexual men have always existed, and the bisexual community is growing, becoming more visible, and building stronger support networks every year. You are not alone.

Take the Next Step

⚠️ Immediate Crisis Support

• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988 (available 24/7)
• Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386 (LGBTQ+ youth crisis support)
• Trans Lifeline: 877-565-8860
• Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741

📅 Schedule Bisexual-Affirming Therapy

• Psychology Today LGBTQ+ Filter: Search specifically for bisexual-affirming therapists at psychologytoday.com
• GLMA Provider Directory: Find LGBTQ+-competent healthcare providers at glma.org
• Inclusive Therapists: A directory specifically designed for LGBTQ+ and marginalized community members

🤝 Connect with Bisexual Community

• Bisexual Resource Center: biresource.net
• BiNet USA: binetusa.org
• GLAAD Bisexual Resources: glaad.org/bisexual
• Reddit r/bisexual: An online community with over 300,000 members

Final Thoughts: Making Bisexuality Visible

The mental health crisis facing bisexual men is real, it's significant, and it's preventable. By increasing awareness of bisexual-specific challenges, improving access to bisexual-affirming mental health resources, and building stronger bisexual communities, we can change these statistics.

But change starts with visibility. Every time a bisexual man feels safe enough to be out, every time an ally speaks up against biphobia, and every time a therapist learns to better serve bisexual clients — the world becomes a little more bisexual-affirming.

If this article resonated with you, please share it. The bisexual men in your life — and in your community — may need to see it.

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References

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